


Why Don't You Just Drop Dead?

by TellMeImPrettyOdd



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Angst, F/M, Geoff and DJ are only mentioned, It's weed, Mentions of drugs, Study Buddies, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 00:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8266211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellMeImPrettyOdd/pseuds/TellMeImPrettyOdd
Summary: There will be many times in your life when you don't really feel up to living.Of course, you gotta put up with that bullshit. Duncan had this mind set since he was about fourteen. Though he often didn't care how things ended up for him, he didn't care enough to end his life either. He had friends that were fun and against all tough guy protocol, lovable. He had parents that drove him crazy but he didn't want to ever hurt like that. He just simply didn't care. (Studies buddies trope, also Duncan is depressed af) (He doesn't get better or anything, it's just more of the world/story through a depressed person's eyes. )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So hopefully no one interprets this as love "curing" Duncan bc trust me he's still fucked up and depressed by the end, he's just a depressed person with a slightly better life by the end. Enjoy!

There will be many times in your life when you don't really feel up to living.

 

Of course, you gotta put up with that bullshit. Duncan had this mind set since he was about fourteen. Though he often didn't care how things ended up for him, he didn't care enough to end his life either. He had friends that were fun and against all tough guy protocol, lovable. He had parents that drove him crazy but he didn't want to ever hurt like that. He just simply didn't care.

  


Living in apathy is part of wanting to die but not ever planning to do so. Drinking, smoking, sure those were pretty normal activities. Taking risks like vandalism, shop lifting, these were more specific to Duncan. You see, it's all about taking risks because it doesn't matter that much if you get caught. You can't buy that kind of excitement.

 

And then of course there was Courtney.

 

Courtney was just some annoying girl in a few of Duncan's classes. They had been acquainted since freshmen year, and now in junior year put in the effort to drive each other insane. By all accounts, Duncan was positive Courtney didn't care what happened to him.

 

But man did he care about her. He would miss her. He would miss showing up late to Brit Lit and catching Courtney rolling her eyes, and how she'd call him out on literally anything he did in class. Sure it was a little annoying, but she cared so much it was almost encouraging. He'd miss calling her Princess, and how she'd always blush a little but before she shot back at him. He'd miss how she'd always invite him to her recitals and model UN meetings, claiming that it might inspire him to be a better person. He'd miss how he always got the feeling that she wanted to spend time with him.

 

So of course he'd continue walking to school late, hanging out with Geoff and DJ after school, and finishing homework late, but just in time to get some credit, to keep his mom happy and his dad aggravated.

 

Now he was seventeen and nearing the end of his junior year in high school. And today was no different, he walked to school, stopped by a local market to get breakfast, and waltzed into Brit Lit at around 9:50.

 

Duncan smirked to himself when he saw Courtney rolling her eyes and whispering to her friend. He took his seat, his teacher had long stopped lecturing him about coming in late. She knew nothing was going to change. As the class went on theorizing about Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, Duncan mostly just daydreamed. The book was about a love square and fairies, he was pretty sure there was no deep message about society other than how dumb people are and how they never think to just talk things out.

 

He almost fell asleep until a piece of paper hit his shoulder. He looked two seats over and saw Courtney waving at him as though she had just won a long competition.

 

"Wow, Princess, they teach royalty how to aim too?" He tossed the piece of paper into the garbage and silently cheered when he made the basket.

 

"Shut up, I'm trying to learn!" She hissed.

 

"Then don't try to keep me awake." He crossed his arms, grinning at her.

 

She rolled her eyes again, "I swear to god, you don't deserve my help."

 

"Then why do you want to help me?" He was almost leaning over Harold's desk at this point.

 

"Duncan, Courtney, again? Courtney, you're the good one why are you always getting into conversations with Duncan?" Their teacher whined.

 

"Glad to know I'm the villain. She started it." Duncan knew he was The Bad Kid™ but honestly as a teacher you're probably not supposed to come out and say that.

 

"Courtney, if this keeps happening, I'm going to have to give you detention." Ms. Duro warned.

 

"She could use it." Duncan muttered.

 

"It won't happen again, Ms. Duro, that's a promise!" Courtney put on her professional honor roll student smile.

 

"It better not." Ms. Duro shrugged, "A well known metaphor it that..."

 

Once again Duncan was back to daydreaming. Honestly, detention with Courtney sound so bad. They could pull a breakfast club, where they had one crazy day of breaking the rules and ended up as a couple by the end. Except for the fact that detention in modern high school was after school and 45 minutes long instead of being an entire Saturday long. And except for the fact that it was the most unrealistic dream to ever have, not just Courtney actually loosening up, but also liking him. Sure it was a nice thought, but Duncan was smart enough not to get his hopes up.

 

By the time the class ended Duncan was more than ready to not show up to Government Studies. Except Ms. Duro said to see her after class, he figured this was just detention.

 

"Duncan, you know that you get points off your grade for being late."

 

This was worse than detention, this was a lecture.

 

"And you never do the homework or participate in class." She continued, "You're currently failing, Duncan."

 

"Don't worry, I won't fail, I'm good with exams." He replied nonchalantly.

 

"You know that you need to pass my class as well as the exams in order to have a passing average, right?"

 

"Not until now, but I'll get better. I'll do the homework from now on, okay? I got this." He really wasn't sure but anything was better than having to have this kind of conversation.

 

"If you say so." Ms. Duro was probably used to this conversation having been a teacher at Wawnakwa High for over ten years now.

 

Duncan shrugged, packed his stuff up and left for his next class. Outside of Ms. Duro's room, Courtney was waiting. Duncan raised an eyebrow at her, "Did you need to talk to Ms. Duro?"

 

"No, but I heard what she said to you." Courtney actually looked worried. "You could get held back."

 

"I didn't know you cared." He smiled almost innocently at her.

 

"I don't." She spat

 

"Really? Then maybe you should just let me keep on failing." He grinned

 

"I could help you pass, Duncan." She crossed her arms, aggravated and hopeful at the same time.

 

"And why would you want to do that?" He leaned in close to Courtney.

 

She took a step back, "Because tutoring can go on college applications. It shows that you're not only generous, but also smart and patient enough to teach morons."

 

Duncan let out a laugh resembling that of a hyena. "It's hard enough to picture you being generous, but patient? You wouldn't last five minutes, I would know."

 

"Do you want to pass or not?" She narrowed her eyes at Duncan when the bell rang, "Now I'm late because of you. If I hadn't offered my help, I would be in AP French by now." She turned around to walk away.

 

"Wait, Courtney. If the offer still stands, I'll let you tutor me." Duncan really didn't know why he cared as much as he did. He could pass Brit Lit just fine if he put in the effort. And of course, he liked the thought of spending quality time with Courtney, but studying was not part of that daydream. And knowing Courtney, studying was all they would do.

 

"Fine. You'll meet me at my house, Wednesday, 5:00 PM, you will leave at 6:00 PM, and we will keep that schedule until you pass Brit Lit." She barely turned to face Duncan, but he could make out the slightest smug grin on her face. "If you don't have any problems with that, then I will see you Wednesday." With that, she left to her next class. She probably should've been angrier for being late, even with the coldness in her voice.

 

Duncan couldn't help but grin widely to himself. He never thought he'd get far with Courtney, even if it was just tutoring. But he was going to be in her house, alone with Courtney, on a weekly basis. Maybe if he mentioned his grades in Chemistry, she could tutor him twice a week. He silently congratulated himself and strolled over to his next class.

 

-

 

When Duncan got to Chem later that day, he spent most of the class looking over at Courtney, motioning different things at her. Mostly just waving, but also the occasional hand-phone and mouthing,  'Call me, babe.' To his surprise, she barely reacted other than rolling her eyes.

 

At the end of class, Courtney caught up to Duncan outside in the hallway and handed him a piece of paper. "Here's my address, and keep in mind that I can get a restraining order against you at any time."

 

"No worries, Princess, I'm not the creepy type." Duncan took the folded paper and stuffed it into his jeans' pocket.

 

"You better not be." She rolled her eyes and walked away.

 

Duncan smiled to himself as he made his way to Creative Writing. Personally, he wasn't that into writing, or doing the homework, but it was the easiest class to pass.

 

-

 

Even though it was well into the day and school was an hour away from ending, Duncan struggled to stay awake in Creative Writing. Honestly, everything was some special kind of pointless. Not where you try to be edgy, so you claim you have no motivation. More like when you're told to write about your surroundings, and you're surrounded by teenagers in a classroom, who are almost as apathetic as you.

 

At least Gwen and Bridgette were in this class. Gwen was cool sometimes, and Bridgette was Geoff's girlfriend as well as a friend of Courtney's, and by extension, someone Duncan wanted to get along with. Though Gwen actually enjoyed writing, and Bridgette cared about doing the work to ensure passing the class.

 

Duncan looked out the window at the traffic, trying to block the annoying chatter of other people in the room. It was a generic spring day in April, the sun was out but there puddles on the ground. Potentially somewhere in between cold and warm outside, just enough to drive him crazy.

 

Not to be dramatic, but the lives of birds were so much less complicated than his. All they had to do was make loud noise to find a mate and that was pretty much it. Yeah, certain things in Duncan's life had advantages, like having thumbs, and getting drunk. But his life was so tiring. He never had energy anymore, no matter what he did.

 

-

 

The walk home was fairly pleasant. Birds chirped along to their overwhelmingly tireless lives and Duncan tried to not think about it. Instead, he thought of stopping by his favorite spot in town. It was just a small patch of woods with a stream, but to Duncan, it was calming.

 

On his way to his house, Duncan thought about the fact that he would get to hang out with Courtney every week. It was the most exhilarating thing he had thought of all week. Courtney just made Duncan feel so awake, and excited.

 

He walked into his empty house, into the living room and fell back into the couch. No one would be home for at least an hour. His parents both worked, and as city pigs otherwise known as cops. His older brother was in college, and his younger brother in middle school. He had time to kill, with that he turned on the TV and smoked a joint.

 

Luckily for Duncan, Matt didn't get home immediately after the middle school let out, so he had time to air out the house. Matt probably wouldn't have told on Duncan, the kid was usually stuck somewhere in between wanting to be like Duncan and wanting to impress their dad. But an empty house was better than a house with a bribe-accepting sibling.

 

Later that night, Duncan sat in his room, staring at his Brit Lit assignment. He would've waited until Wednesday to work on it with Courtney, but it was due the next day. Sure homework was a drag and good grades weren't worth it, but summer school would be even more of a drag.

 

His mom had gotten home by that point and was overjoyed to see Duncan even looking at his homework. His dad hadn't expressed that he cared but at least the guy refrained from lecturing Duncan that night. Honestly, it barely seemed worth the effort to Duncan, even with the threat of summer school looming over his head. Everything seemed twice as hard and ten times as draining when you hated living this much. But there were some things you don't hate, like your mom, your friends, that really cute girl that promised to tutor you, your little brother and the fact that he looks up to you, the steady progress you've made with mechanics, the taste of homemade waffles, the pictures of your dog you had as a kid that you still have on your bedroom walls. There are some things that make you do your homework. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday went by fast, the highlight being Courtney's face after Duncan threatened to shove his copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream up Harold's ass, and hanging out with Geoff and DJ after school.

 

The two were something else as friends went. Duncan had met people he considered to be friends, and sure, everyone's different, but Geoff and DJ seemed to be the only genuinely kind people Duncan had ever met. And even with extensive kindness, the two were still more fun than anyone else. He probably didn't deserve their friendship, but he never dwelled on that thought too heavily.

 

Then came Wednesday, the amazing day of extraordinary opportunities. The day where Duncan got to be at Courtney's house, alone with her. By all means she probably hates him most of the time, but he was allowed to have fantasies.

 

She nodded at him in Brit Lit, acknowledging his existence, then once again in Chemistry, probably to confirm that he remembered which day it was. He nodded each time and included a wink and grin during Chem, only to earn a venomous glare back. He decided not to bother her again until after class.

 

When Chemistry did end, he quickly found her in the halls, "We're still on for tonight, right?"

 

"God, you make it sound like a date. Of course we're still on, I would've let you know if I had to cancel." She rolled her eyes at him, "I'll see you at 5:00."

 

Duncan slouched against a locker as Courtney turned and started walking away, "See you then, Princess."

 

-

 

Duncan started walking to Courtney house at 4:40. Ordinarily, he would have given negative shits about being on time, but he could fully admit that he didn't want to screw this up.

 

Courtney's house was a few blocks away from Duncan's. Technically, she lived in a different neighborhood than him, but it was all the same town. Her house looked pretty average. White, two story, front door in the middle, garage attached, made up a rectangular shape.

 

Duncan walked up and rang the door bell, then immediately began knocking just in case she didn't hear the door bell.

 

An unimpressed Courtney opened the door and gestured for Duncan to step inside. She led him into a room that seemed to be both the living room and dining room. "We should get started right away."

 

Duncan pulled up a chair and dropped his Brit Lit folder onto the table. The thing was almost empty, he had filled some random folder the night before with his recent Brit Lit work. "Okay, so what would you like to start on? I'm thinking essays cause they're the only kind of homework that has any effect on our grades."

 

"That's completely incorrect, but if that's what you want to start on, sure." Courtney opened the folder and pulled out a few assignments, most of which were overdue. "Okay, show me any essays you have written so far, even if they're not finished."

 

"God, I didn't think it'd be this boring." Duncan muttered as he flipped through his assignments.

 

"I didn't ask you to dinner, I offered to help you not fail a class."

 

"I know, Princess, trust me I didn't think you were." Duncan pulled put a draft that he hadn't handed in yet.

 

Courtney read through Duncan's essays. She then showed him where to break things up into paragraphs, corrected a few spelling errors and run on sentences. She had him rewrite a few paragraphs to make them longer. The two studied like that for until 6:00 PM, in between that time, Courtney's dad had come home from work. For the most part they were left alone, it seemed Courtney had explained her plan to tutor other students to her parents.

 

"Okay, I guess it's time for me to go home." Duncan stood up from the table after glancing at the clock.

 

"Mhm, I'll see you next week." Courtney handed Duncan his things and led him back to the door.

 

"I was thinking," Duncan started, "Maybe you could help me out in Chem too. I've kind of been failing in that class too." He suggested, smiling with his hand scratching the back of his head, he looked down right bashful.

 

"Yeah, that'd be fine. I guess, I could tutor you on Sundays?"

 

"Sunday's fine for me. 5:00 o'clock?"

 

"5:00 o'clock." She nodded opening the door a little wider for him.

 

-

 

Things were going well, Duncan had been seeing Courtney twice every week for around three weeks. They barely talked about anything other than writing and chemistry, but Duncan had made Courtney laughed once. If he kept this up, he might able to actually get Courtney to like him.

 

It was Wednesday, and Duncan was smugly heading home before going to Courtney's for tutoring. He had actually started doing his homework for Brit Lit. At least enough to get Ms. Duro off his back.

 

-

 

"Duncan, seriously? You wrote your paper on Anarchism?" Courtney rolled her eyes.

 

"Hey Princess, don't judge until you read. It's actually pretty well thought out." Duncan started to rest his feet on Courtney's coffee table but stopped when he saw her death glare.

 

"How about you give me a short explanation and I give you spelling and grammar corrections." She offered.

 

"Fine. The best possible world we could live in would have no government, people would just help each other out of the kindness of their hearts and otherwise live freely." He actually felt a lot of pride in his beliefs.

 

"That's completely impossible." Courtney shot back, "You know that, right?"

 

"Yeah, but it's something to strive for." He concluded.

 

"On paper, that sounds great, but people aren't generous, they don't help each other out of the kindness of their hearts. Humans are cruel and they need government."

 

"I know, but isn't on paper all that matters here?" Duncan smirked at Courtney.

 

"You're ridiculous." She took handed Duncan's paper back to him. "But you are nice. You want people to help each other out of kindness, like a giant hippie commune."

 

"Woah there, I don't think anarchism makes me nice." He lowered his eyebrows at the honor roll student.

 

"Socialist-anarchism does." She smiled brightly at him.

 

"Okay, well maybe you should stick to tutoring, babe." Duncan shoved the paper back into his folder. "And maybe not tell other people about this. I'll even write a new paper."

 

"Wow, who would've thought? You  do give a damn 'bout your bad reputation!" Courtney practically burst out laughing.

 

"Wow, what an amazing joke, do you promise not to tell?" Duncan looked Courtney in the eyes, trying to make her realize how serious he was being. "Please."

 

"Fine, don't worry about it." She promised, "I'm surprised you care this much."

 

"We've all got ways to get through high school, mine is people having good reasons to fear me." Duncan smirked with an air of cynicism. "Does that work for you, Princess?"

 

"Your secret's safe with me." She smiled kindly.

 

"Awesome, then maybe we could also make out instead of studying in secret?" Duncan's grin widened.

 

"And there's the douchebag again." Courtney rolled her eyes.


End file.
